expect little

when rajavel announced that rehab exam had been cancelled, i was just speechless.. bleyyyy plakkk!
their last-minute-decision- attitude is super duper annoying. sabar je la. yes, sabar je...
i will face a lotsa crap things like this for more 2 years ahead.. coz it is their place, by hook or by crook we have to just follow their steps. shut up n listen to them patiently.

i didnt plan to go back home ryte after dat...so much pressures these few days..dunno where shud i go to shout out loudly everything that has been haunted in myself.. the bad old days' memories esp..why 'they' r still alive???? i dont wanna remember at all...urgh

hmmm...i had to rush back home coz need to print out surat pinjam ruang again. i tot it was needed very3x urgent (supposed to be urgent perhaps)...but.......only after 45 mins of waiting, then sumone came to take that letter. 45 mins for me to unconsciously sleep...coz i felt damnnnnnnnn tired. *_* i really dont lyk this. i expected ppl really need my help but it just only gave me a tense feeling to rush here n there..coz it seemed dont worth it eventually.

***

i knw i have psychological probs. i cant share my feelings to others like i did b4. dunno when it has started..but i realize it hurts me more n more day after day. i tend to force myself to keep on living by forgetting all the bygones. but they r still attached with me.

i read the latest news bout korean actor who commited suicide bcoz cudnt hold the stress he felt. well, alhamdulillah, my belief is sooooo firm to appreciate my life. what a such beautiful blessing of being a muslim. alhamdulillah. eventhough i struggled very hard till i felt of giving up...i still have sumthing in myself that gimme spirit and encourage me to move on with positive views of my life.

n bcoz i dont talk much lately, i hate to hear ppl around me complaining this and that which do not satisfy themselves. tired with those useless complaints. face the fact...we have to learn to face the reality even it is so cruel. life doesnt promise sweetness all the time. instead,the bitterness is always what we have to taste. digest it.

***

i has deactivated my fb account. again. it is the second time. till...not sure.
will detach me from my friends...esp who r in msia.
sorry...jz need mooooore time to heal myself. im rotten and sick.

-j1e-